Goodbye My Cooney Island Baby.

An amazing thing happened to me two days ago.

I was tempted to write ‘greatest thing’, but then I thought about it and there’s way better things that could happen to me. For example: playing cricket for Australia, having a Gibson 335, or being cast as Tony Soprano are all things I would consider to be the ‘greatest thing’ to happen to me. The thing that happened to me would more appropriately be classed as a golden moment from a cheesy sitcom or kids movie. I say ‘kids’ movie, but an ‘Adam Sandler’ film would work as well.

The plot lines are very similar.

Ouch. 

Oh I went there.

**Sassy female Latina finger swirl**

How come only Latina women who can do that swirl? I’ve seen a girl of Scottish heritage try and do it and it was horrible. It looked like she was trying to dial a number on one of those old-school wind-up telephones whilst having and epileptic fit.

That’s not racist is it? Like, it’s not a Scottish thing is it? Scottish people aren’t all epileptic, are they? Imagine if that was your country’s personal trait?

“The Irish like to drink, the English like to steal land and those darn Scots – they have epilepsy!”

Scottish nightclubs would be the worst.

Anyway, back to the incredible thing that happened to me.

I was sitting down going over all my uni subjects this session, figuring out assessments and dues dates, timetables and exams, when I realised that one of my subjects expected me to buy a textbook for $100.

$100!

Where was I going to find that kind of cash?

No quicker than that thought hitting me, I felt a vibration in my pocket. It was my phone ringing. I answered the call and it was my friend telling me she had $200 for me! 

That’s right! $200!

How incredible is that?

Nothing that good has happened to me for ages. It’s like the stars have aligned to help me out. Either that or God has finally heard me praying and is doing me a solid. Maybe he sees something in me and wants me on his team in heaven.

God’s XI. 

I told my mate about it and he said it’s just the power of positive thinking. I think that’s complete bullshit. I think positively about everything and very rarely anything good happens. Every time I have to drive somewhere I always think, “Okay car, don’t use any fuel. I need to save money”, and guess what? My car always uses fuel.

Anyway, like Josh Homme says, “I can go with the flow”, which is what I’m going to do. I’ll ride this magical train of karma and goodwill until I get a phone call saying I owe someone $200.