Lots of Love.

I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, but it seems to happen to me all the time.

I’ll be walking home late at night and there’ll be a girl walking alone towards me on the footpath. She’ll suddenly see me walking towards her, stop, cross to the other side of the road, keep walking on that side, then cross back over to my side once we’ve passed each other.

What?

Girls must think I’m some kind of testosterone filled, sociopathic monster.

Which, to be honest, I don’t really hate. Mainly because it’s the only time in my life I get to feel like a dangerous, masculine beast that people don’t want to mess with. Well, except for Internet forums, that’s when I’m the dominant male.

Anyway, so the other night I was walking home late at night and I looked up ahead and saw a girl walking towards me on the footpath. I saw this and got a bit cocky and was like, “Someone’s in a bit of ‘danger’. Looks like ‘someone’ might want to alter their walk home”.*

But then, she stopped, looked up at me, waited for about five seconds, then put her head down and continued walking straight past me!

F**k her.

How insulting is that? She’s looked at me and decided that I was of absolutely no threat to her.

I was so angry I could have raped her just to prove that she misjudged me.

Bit extreme, but hey. I’m pretty sure it would stand up in court.

I’m only joking, it wouldn’t stand up in court.

And I wouldn’t rape anyone.

Actually I would. I would rape Hitler. Imagine if Hitler had been raped? The Holocaust wouldn’t have happened. He would have been too busy having a cold shower and regretting every decision he’s ever made.

That’s a Louie CK joke. I thought I’d use it because I’m unoriginal and lack creativity. Also, I might be barren.

Sigh…

That’s one for the LOLs.

*I should point out I’m a jerk.